高考水平：Never will I marry you.
四级水平：You are the last man I am willing to marry.
六级水平：Under no circumstances will I marry you.
GRE水平：If you were the last man in the world, I would definitely remain single.
大神水平：If you were to marry me, I would go to the temple.
If the sun rose in the west, I would marry you.
I will marry anybody but you.
I can suffer anything but marrying you.
烈女水平：If you were to marry me, I would jump to the water/river/lake/sea/well.
五毛水平：If Li Gang were your father, I would marry you.